its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Randomize
