My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
