Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
