Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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