My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
