yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize