I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
