And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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