I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize