I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
