It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
