Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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