Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
