There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
