I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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