Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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