My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Randomize
