WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
