honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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