you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.Â
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
