ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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