You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
