im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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