He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
