real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
high people should be assigned attendants
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Randomize
