The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
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I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
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Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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