I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
