my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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