so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
