question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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