I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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