just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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