I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
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I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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