I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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