I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
