I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I think I just sharted jello shots
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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