I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
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We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
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I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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