well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
This toilet bowl is my home.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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