If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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