I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
