Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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