If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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