Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
it was like eating out sand paper
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
