A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
