and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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