I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
mondays should just be called national damage control day
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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