the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
