ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
The air was thick with penises
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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