I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
