we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
