Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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