All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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