Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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