He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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