well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
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