Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your signature on my underwear?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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