I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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