I seem to have left my pride at pride
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
