Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
