i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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