so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
You dont lie about slip and slides
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
