so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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